Spotlight on the Situation

Let’s coin the term “Mental Wellness”

I had a choice when I was 21. I could die, or stay here live and potentially show others the beauty I have seen. I chose to live. It has not been easy. I have been labeled bipolar and have been forced to take medications that have messed up my thyroid gland (the gland that regulates all of your hormones). I take a medicine for my thyroid as well.

Now am I even sure that I have bipolar??? I am not sure. But I do know that my chemicals in my brain have been altered by multiple stays in hospitals. So now since my thyroid is conditionally hurt because of taking Lithium for an extended period of time. I have to make sure that I am regulated by drugs.

This past July – 2020, I got a Urinary Track Infection (UTI). I was going to the bathroom so much that it depleted my medication to an un-therapeutic level. I had my period at the time (which that alone – can also mess with your medications) so I didn’t figure out what was happening till it was too late.

I was taken to a crisis center (one of the most beautiful hospitals I have ever seen). My room over looked a pond, and there was a beautiful garden area, with a bridge that you could walk around and see all the bees and birds. In just a short amount of time in this controlled environment, I talked a lot to the other patients that were there, I also talked to a couple of psychiatrists that made me feel like I was talking a real human being, instead of a wall. Doctors in my past have made me feel sub-human…. With in a matter of 10 days I healed about 20 years of trauma.

Piece of Cake Right?

Mental health is not talked about for a number of reasons. But I want to make one thing clear. I go to the hospital to get well. There is a lot Stigma, Stereotypes, and no one wants to say what actually goes on inside a mental health unit. Well I will tell you. Times in the past where I was detained by the police. I am handcuffed and then when I get to the hospital I am strapped down to a bed. And they don’t care if you have a hooded sweatshirt on in 80 degree weather. This is only for my safety and to slow me down.

This is all for safety but while going through “crisis” it can be extra hard on that person because of how they are treated by professionals. Imagine feeling like you are just about on the brink of death and then someone makes you run a marathon, it doesn’t work too well. Restrictions are hard. How you are handcuffed – it usually is not an easy experience. Sometimes you can have communication with the person handcuffing you but most the time they are put on so hard that your wrists bleed. Not being able to have water for hours, while being imprisoned in a hot car, dehydrated, just to end up being given a drug cocktail that you are most likely allergic to and feeling like all your rights have been taken from you because you are strapped down or handcuffed to a bed. Sometimes you can’t pee unless someone is staring at you the whole time. It’s one thing to have to deal with all these extra restrictions on a normal day but when you are so sensitive that you feel like you are going to have a heart attack… those are the last things you should have to deal with.

This past time (July, 2020) I was offered medication that I claim to be allergic to. But if I only have a micro-dose I could be okay. Then they inject you with chemicals that will knock you out so they can transport you safely to your destination. I have also been transported with out the meds that knock you out.

I think that I have been misdiagnosed. I think that I have had PTSD since I was 4 years old. Some day I will have to share with you how I was declared bipolar in the first place – it was not from a doctor it was from my ex-fiancee. (Let’s not open up that can of worms.)

Recap. I had an infection. I was brought to a hospital where they monitored and treated the infection. Why should I be ashamed and not tell anyone what a struggle it was to be able to sleep at night. I would take 5 minute naps here and there and max sleep 2 hours (even with meds to assist sleep). I have met some hearts of gold while in different medical facilities. But most hospitals will not let you keep in touch with the beautiful people you meet and they won’t even let you send a letter to the hospital to thank them for giving you your life back… If I could coin a term it would be that I go to the hospital for my “Mental Wellness” I am not ashamed any more.

I have been through a lot, and have lost a lot of friends. Because I was honest with them and told them I was declared bipolar. How many people do you see everyday that try to escape this reality. What if there were places you could go and actually talk about anything you needed to talk about. That is what I want to cultivate.

Talk therapy I feel is one of the best things to help you heal. Even if it is you writing down your thoughts in a journal. If you need someone to talk to click the link below there you can find someone to talk things over with. Do it for you.

Click on the picture below to connect you with people to talk to and multiple support networks:

I want to expand more in depth of the situations I have been in. To start I am opening up to the world via blogging. We can find some peace and solace by talking about what it means to be “Mentally Well”. Just by sharing my story here, I have already begun to heal. It is my hope that by talking and sharing with you my stories and yours we don’t have to hide or be ashamed. Put a spotlight on your health! Lets heal and share more of an understanding of what we have to deal with sometimes on a daily basis.

Please share about your strengths and struggles. What has been your driving force? How do you stay “Mentally Well”? Lets talk 💕 Please comment below so we all can benefit.