How come change can be so challenging sometimes? I would love to dive deep – inward to my core and become what I see is the true me. Well you might say: Why aren’t you the true you? Good question. I think almost everyone at one point in time has gone through some type of trauma. This trauma can manifest in many different ways and contribute as a defense mechanism that you might not even be aware of…
How can my past effect my responses of today? I can point fingers and justify responses but how can I actually stop my past from effecting my present.
Well the first step is looking at your current situations. If your responses or reactions feel like you are a snapping turtle trying to break some guys femur your past (or trauma) might be being propelled through how you see things in the moment – Today.
Through out the day – Look at your responses within the present moment. Stop for a minute or even 30 seconds and gauge your feelings. Does this feel like me or the way I want to feel? If you cant do this in the heat of the moment and you fail completely. Look at what you said or did and evaluate what you didn’t like. Was your response you? What would you change if your could. Write it down. Go through each feeling and thought (which can be hard) and change what does not resonate with you. Write down the shoulds and coulds. Let other people know about how you are trying to change for the better. If the people around you are not supportive of this fact – don’t let that stop you.
Your inner peace is not the responsibility of other people.
If you can’t stop and reflect about what you want to be or not. – Right now in that moment. You will repeat the same old reactions and these situations will keep coming to you. If you find yourself responding emotionally. This is the best time to ask yourself why? Why did I get sad or mad? Did this even have anything to do with this present moment? If you see your reactions/responses as not how you want to be or feel, don’t worry this is something you can change.
Do you have any communication issues that you wished would of gone differently?
Can you snap your fingers and drop all the past hurts? I believe you actually can. I also think that someone who has been through a lot of trauma can sometimes develop a defense system and feel like they are stuck. You don’t have to be stuck if you truly don’t want to be.
Sometimes Change can be HARD.
Just by starting to break down your thoughts in the moment and admit that your past just effected your present. This is where you can really heal. When you are in pure reaction mode. STOP breathe for a second. You can do the inner work right there in the moment.
What about the people who don’t have trauma? I think that if you ask a random number of people you would find most of them would want to change something in their lives.
You can change.
Just look at what truly you want.
Focus on it.
Don’t give up on yourself until you can smile on the inside.
Be in the moment change yourself there.
For those that really want any type of change – My cup is raised to you.
Katerehanna 